How to Have a Good Discussion

31 Jul

Discussions are an essential part of life and business. They are the modem of exchange and the bed from which great ideas grow. We take part in them daily, yet we do not recognise they are an art. All of us discuss, but few of us discuss well. Here are some guidelines to help you have a good discussion. Geared towards a business discussion, the following guidance can be applied to other types of discussion. It will likely need to be tailored, but should provide a useful starting point or check list.

Meetings v. Discussions

Meetings and discussions are distinct. Often, discussions are unnecessary and an obstacle. Therefore, not all meetings should contain discussion. However, when an issue or decision warrants a discussion, the discussion held in the meeting should be a good one.

Meetings for communicating or seeking buy-in to progress, issues or decisions

Discussions for exchange of ideas

What is good?

Outcome and interaction

A good outcome at the end of the discussion and good interaction between all the participants during the discussion. A good outcome normally means that the purpose of the discussion was achieved, however it can still be good if participants’ feel value was created but the purpose not achieved. Consider an experiment where one hypothesis was to be tested but something else was proven (something valuable) and the hypothesis was not tested, it could still be considered a good outcome. A good discussion creates value. One value may be purpose is fulfilled but a discussion could lead to other valued outcomes

All participants are engaged, listening and contribute

Discussion is purposeful and the outcome is not pre-determined

A diverse set of ideas and perspectives are exchanged

Positive challenge and questioning

Creative combinations are generated (A + B => X)

Discussion is efficient

Why are we here?

Purpose must be stated and clarified at the start (if necessary). Role of each participant should also be clear.

All participants have a role, otherwise why invite them? Limit numbers to 5–10 people. Most participants will have a stake in the discussion but a participant could be invited, who has no stake, but brings a different perspective that will add value to the discussion.

All stakeholders should be represented, ie those who are impacted by the outcome. (Stakeholders could include customers, product managers, developers, sales, marketing, finance, legal, compliance and risk representatives)

Two key roles are:

Sponsor/Requester who is the main stakeholder in the outcome (perhaps, needs a decision)
Facilitator who ensures all contributions are heard and reluctant participants are encouraged. The exchange is positive, purposeful, outcome oriented and discussion time is actively managed

Have a beginning, middle and end

Preparation:

Prior to the beginning of the actual discussion, preparation is required to research the particular topic, shape the agenda and decide the participants. Furthermore, pre-briefing and initial 1–2–1 meetings with key stakeholders can ensure the actual discussion gets off to a flying start.

Caution: framing the topic/problem/issue in advance could make the subsequent discussion more effective. However, lobbying for a particular outcome/solution may limit the discussion

Beginning:

Clarify purpose of discussion (decision, problem, topic…) and set the scene
Caution: depending upon the discussion, a rigid structure and restrictive purpose, can limit the subsequent discussion. This maybe undesirable where brain-storming or out-of-the-box ideas are need.
Explain roles upfront

Middle:

Keep to purpose / time allocation
Balance exploring (seek new ideas) & exploiting (deep dive into existing idea)

End:

Summarise findings, actions and next steps
Identify lessons learnt: how to improve discussions next time

It’s all about the UX

A good discussion will normally be associated with a highly valuable user experience (UX) for each participant. Each participant has a role in creating this UX. A very positive UX for all will most likely lead to a positive outcome.

Respect the other person

If each participant fully respects the other participants, then a shared communication protocol naturally follows:

Every participant has been given a seat at the discussion for a reason. Avoid idea wastage by ensuring everyone has the opportunity to voice opinions.
Everyone must be open minded and avoid preconceived ideas. Challenge their understanding. Don’t assume you’re right and your way is the only way
Question without confrontation. Seek clarification and precision to address exaggerations, mis-statements
Don’t just air views. Listen actively, be constructive, and look to build upon prior contributions
Provide substantiated reasons with real examples or evidence. Understand reasons for any differences in relation to facts, judgment or prescription
Keep calm and carry on. Don’t get frustrated. Don’t make it personal
Use clear language. No jargon, no flowery language.
Promote a safe and trusted environment
Recognise different cultures define “discussion” differently. Embrace this, but be aware that in a multicultural setting, different participants may have different styles of, and expectations for, a discussion.
Format matters. If the discussion takes place over a video call, non-verbal signs are more difficult to read and participants may need to focus attention to ensure synchronised and respectful interaction.

Opportunity for learning

Learning is part of the value created during the discussion

New joiners may need support to learn and adapt to an established communication protocol.
Participants who have taken part may need to learn and adapt to changing interactions

Key takeaways

UX
Value Creation
Learning

This article takes inspiration from Bo Seo’s (two-time world champion debater) book Good Arguments.

Appendix: Experimenting with ChatGPT

The five questions and responses from ChatGPT below took five minutes, provided some useful input but does not replace deliberate thinking — some advice:

Start with your own ideas and research first
Use ChatGPT as an input to brainstorming
Use questions to focus on specific aspects of the topic
Carefully evaluate the information offered

You can compare the ChatGPT information below to our article on the same topic:

https://medium.com/views-from-the-reef/how-to-have-a-good-discussion-7bc4f1ac407

1. List the main rules for having a good business discussion

Having a good business discussion requires clear communication and mutual understanding between all parties involved. Here are some general rules to help ensure a productive discussion:

Preparation: Before the meeting, gather all necessary information and ensure that all participants have a clear understanding of the topic.
Be Clear and Concise: Be clear and concise when presenting information or making arguments. Avoid using technical jargon or overly complex language that others may not understand.
Active Listening: Listen actively and attentively to what others are saying. Avoid interrupting others and give everyone a chance to speak.
Respect Differences of Opinion: Acknowledge and respect differing opinions and viewpoints. Try to find common ground and look for ways to resolve conflicts in a positive manner.
Stay Focused: Stay focused on the topic at hand and avoid getting sidetracked. If a tangent is relevant to the discussion, make a note of it for a later time.
Encourage Open Communication: Encourage open communication and free-flowing discussion. Be open to feedback and be willing to consider alternative perspectives.
Set Agendas and Goals: Clearly define the purpose of the discussion and set specific agendas and goals for what needs to be accomplished.
Follow Up: After the meeting, follow up on any action items and decisions made. Ensure that everyone is on the same page and has a clear understanding of what needs to be done next.

By following these guidelines, you can ensure that business discussions are productive, effective, and lead to positive outcomes.

2. How do you assess whether a business discussion has been good?

A business discussion can be considered good if it results in positive outcomes and meets the goals and objectives set for the meeting. Here are some specific factors that can help assess the success of a business discussion:

Accomplishment of Goals: The main indicator of a successful business discussion is whether the goals and objectives set for the meeting were accomplished.
Effective Communication: The discussion should have been conducted in a clear and concise manner, with active listening, and open communication.
Resolution of Issues: If the discussion was meant to resolve a particular issue or problem, the success of the discussion can be measured by the extent to which the issue was resolved.
Consensus Reached: A good business discussion should result in a consensus being reached among all participants.
Action Items and Decisions Made: The discussion should have resulted in clear and specific action items and decisions being made, with everyone having a clear understanding of what needs to be done next.
Follow-Up: After the discussion, the follow-up process should be completed, and all action items and decisions should be implemented.

By considering these factors, you can assess whether a business discussion was good and determine whether it achieved the desired results.

3. What additional factors or attention would be needed to make a business discussion very effective?

To make a business discussion truly effective, there are a few additional factors that need to be taken into consideration:

Inclusiveness: Ensure that all relevant parties are included in the discussion, and that diverse perspectives and opinions are represented.
Adaptability: Be flexible and adaptable in the discussion. Be willing to adjust the agenda or approach if necessary to achieve the desired outcome.
Encouragement of Collaboration: Encourage collaboration and teamwork. Encourage participants to work together and share ideas, information, and resources.
Clear Roles and Responsibilities: Clearly define the roles and responsibilities of each participant. Ensure that everyone knows what is expected of them and what their contributions should be.
Technology: Use technology and other tools to enhance the discussion and make it more efficient. For example, video conferencing, project management software, and shared document collaboration can be useful in keeping everyone on the same page.
Time Management: Manage the time effectively and efficiently. Set a clear schedule, and stick to it. Avoid spending too much time on one topic, and ensure that all relevant topics are covered.
Follow-Through: Ensure that there is follow-through on any action items or decisions made during the discussion. Hold participants accountable, and track progress towards the goals and objectives set for the meeting.

By considering these additional factors and making an effort to incorporate them into your business discussions, you can make them even more effective and ensure that they result in positive outcomes.

4. What could be done to make the user experience extremely enjoyable and productive for all participants of a business discussion?

A positive user experience for all participants of a business discussion can help to create a more productive and effective meeting. Here are a few strategies to consider:

Comfortable Environment: Ensure that the environment is comfortable and conducive to productive discussions. This can include things like good lighting, appropriate temperature, and adequate seating arrangements.
Clear Communication: Encourage clear and concise communication by all participants. Provide guidelines or ground rules to help ensure that everyone is on the same page.
Active Listening: Encourage active listening and ensure that everyone has a chance to contribute and be heard. Encourage participants to ask questions and seek clarification as needed.
Emphasize Collaboration: Foster a collaborative atmosphere by encouraging participants to work together and share their ideas and perspectives.
Use Visual Aids: Utilize visual aids, such as slides, diagrams, or whiteboards, to help illustrate key points and keep participants engaged.
Encourage Breaks: Encourage breaks throughout the discussion to help keep participants fresh and focused. Taking a short break can help to clear the mind and refocus energy.
Provide Refreshments: Provide refreshments, such as snacks and drinks, to keep participants energized and focused.
Encourage Follow-Up: Encourage follow-up after the meeting to ensure that everyone is on the same page and has a clear understanding of what needs to be done next.

By incorporating these strategies, you can help create a positive user experience for all participants in a business discussion, which can lead to more productive and effective meetings.

5. What articles or resources would you recommend as further reading to help create a highly effective business discussion?

Here are some recommended articles and resources for further reading to help create a highly effective business discussion:

Harvard Business Review: HBR provides a wealth of information and insights on business and management topics, including articles on effective business communication and collaboration.
Inc.com: Inc.com offers practical and actionable advice on a variety of business topics, including effective business meetings and discussions.
Forbes: Forbes is a well-known source of business and management insights, with a focus on success strategies and best practices.
The 5 AM Club by Robin Sharma: This book provides practical tips and strategies for creating highly effective and productive mornings, which can help set the tone for the rest of the day and lead to more productive business discussions.
Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High by Al Switzler, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler: This book provides practical tips and strategies for conducting effective and productive business discussions, especially when dealing with high-stakes or sensitive topics.
Communication Skills for Effective Management by William J. Roche and Blaise L. Cristallo: This book provides practical and comprehensive advice on effective business communication and collaboration, including strategies for conducting effective business discussions.

Antony Turner